Friday, April 18, 2008

How Low can Reality TV go?

Living With Lucy, is RTE's latest attempt at taking License payers money and flushing it right down the drain...

This week the Talent Vacuum that is Lucy Kennedy is living with, we are told by the trailer for the programme, The 'Sensational' Jade Goody... That's right, RTE are paying someone to write that and to say that word.

We already have on our screens a programme where 'Celebrities' are given the task of managing a GAA team against other 'Celebrity' managed GAA teams... This idea came from a journalist called Fiona Looney and she is sooooo proud of this idea she seems to be all over the programme telling us about it...

Well I'm sorry I do not believe that coming up with an idea for a reality TV show is that impressive... Take this for example. Celebrity Dog Salon, A 'Celebrity' has to go on a training Course on Dog Hairdressing, on completion of this, they have to go to the Dog Pound, find the most dishevelled dog that they can and transform it into a wonderful example of a Groomed Dog, competing against other Celebrity Dog Groomers... There that idea took me at least ten seconds to come up with...

Still not convinced? OK well I'll put a bit more work into the next attempt and I'll even put it into rhyme for you...

How Low Can Reality TV Go?

Hello, everyone my name is Jim
I'm your presenter here today,
For this Brand New TV Show
And I'd just like to say,
It's a pleasure meeting all of you
And I do hope it's not fleeting,
We hope you all will stick around
And watch Celebrity AA meeting.

That's right 6 Alcoholics,
Who are Celebrities as well,
Would like for you to vote for them
So they can win a rehab spell.
They're going to explain there reasons
Why they're drunker than the rest,
And you'll phone a specific number
To vote for who deserves it best.
So without further ado
Put your hands together please
As now I will be taking you
To meet the celebrities.

<1st Celebrity>
Hi, I am a Footballer
Who has gone off his game
So please send me to rehab
As The Bottle is to blame.

<2nd Celebrity>
Hi, I told the press about
My affair with a footballing star.
I started to drink so I could get press,
So get me more and away from the Bar.

<3rd Celebrity>

Hi, I'm a pop-star who had a number one
Around 9 years ago or 10.
So please send me to rehab.
So it can be released again.

<4th Celebrity>
Hi, I'm a celebrity
From another reality show.
And I want to go to re-hab
As it seems like a cool place to go.

<5th Celebrity>
Hi, I am best mates with
A guy from a wicked Boyband.
He became a drunk, So I did too,
As I have to follow him you understand.

<6th Celebrity>
Hi, My dad was famous
That's what I have to Claim
I've got nothing else to do but drink
And live off my old man's fame.

So that's it you've heard it now.
6 Celebrities, 6 reasons to get clean.
We'll go over all their reasons again
And again from now and between
The end of the show. But remember
If you have a favourite that you want to rehabilitate
Phone us before the lines close
As we'll make no money if you phone too late.

So RTE, like my ideas?

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