Thursday, May 22, 2008

Eurovision Pun Detest...

Oh how sad was Dustin's exit from a competition so po-faced and devoid of intentional-humour… And not for the reasons you would expect…

Dustin's exit from Europe has been a bad thing for Puns… Ever since it has been announced that Dustin was applying to take part in the Eurovision, the Pun-Writers of the Irish press have been going overboard... There has been an explosion of puns... Unfortunately they have not changed.

Yesterday morning's Headline's have been worryingly predictable, with 'Dustin Stuffed', 'Dustin Plucked', 'Dustin Fails to Ruffle feathers', 'Ireland in a flap over Eurovision. etc...

Now these puns are not bad as puns, but they were all expected, they had been used before and they were predicted.

I'm sorry but these newspapers have had a while to come up with decent original puns… It could have only gone two ways since Dustin was chosen and therefore some thought should have been put into it. What were the Pun departments of the newspapers doing?

As a huge Pun fan, I'd like to think I can come up with some.

For instance, why has no one used Sandie Shaw's Eurovision hit as a source of punning?

'Hike A Puppet, Con a Win' This would be an excellent headline the way that Dustin has been hyped making people think he is a shoo-in to win leaving the Bookies the only winners here.

The following are ten puns that would have showed more originality than the puns the press have used:

1) Yeah, Like a Puppet's Gonna Win. (Another obscure Sandie Shaw reference.)
2) Europe tells Dustin to Beak Wyatt.
3) No Turkey-ish delight as Dustin doesn't show Eastern (European) Promise.
4) Dustin's Daily Boos. (Reference to Dustin's show, Dustin's Daily News and the fact he gets booed everywhere.)
5) D'end of Eurovision for Dustin. (Reference to the Den)
6) Eurovision Poultry-mendous news for Dustin Dissenters. (Eurovision Poll Tremendous news etc.)
7) No Hen Party for the Irish in Belgrade. (This is where I start scraping the bottom of the barrel)
8) Dustin fails to make the (Bel)Grade. (Told you)
9) Irlande 'Boos' Points (Ouch surely I can get no lower.)
10) Dustin given free-range in Belgrade. (OK that is it… It is getting silly… Surely I have something better to do.)

I hope these amused you, but I'm assuming that no pun in ten did...

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