And other things...

Et Cetera, is a Latin phrase that means, ‘And other things’

Therefore can somebody please explain why it is the title, and the phrase is included in, the Chorus of Irelands 2009 Eurovision.

The lyrics, apart from being ghastly beyond belief, are about some guy who, I think, can’t make up his mind between two girls, and it is sung from the viewpoint of one of the said girls. There is nothing in the song which makes the word (or words, it can be spelt one wordly or bi-wordly) ‘etcetera’ appropriate.

Now I believe the song is bad, but that only means that it actually stands some chance in a competition that celebrates the appalling, but can someone please give me an idea why the lyric writer chose to name the song inappropriately?

Eurovision Pun Detest...

Oh how sad was Dustin's exit from a competition so po-faced and devoid of intentional-humour… And not for the reasons you would expect…

Dustin's exit from Europe has been a bad thing for Puns… Ever since it has been announced that Dustin was applying to take part in the Eurovision, the Pun-Writers of the Irish press have been going overboard... There has been an explosion of puns... Unfortunately they have not changed.

Yesterday morning's Headline's have been worryingly predictable, with 'Dustin Stuffed', 'Dustin Plucked', 'Dustin Fails to Ruffle feathers', 'Ireland in a flap over Eurovision. etc...

Now these puns are not bad as puns, but they were all expected, they had been used before and they were predicted.

I'm sorry but these newspapers have had a while to come up with decent original puns… It could have only gone two ways since Dustin was chosen and therefore some thought should have been put into it. What were the Pun departments of the newspapers doing?

As a huge Pun fan, I'd like to think I can come up with some.

For instance, why has no one used Sandie Shaw's Eurovision hit as a source of punning?

'Hike A Puppet, Con a Win' This would be an excellent headline the way that Dustin has been hyped making people think he is a shoo-in to win leaving the Bookies the only winners here.

The following are ten puns that would have showed more originality than the puns the press have used:

1) Yeah, Like a Puppet's Gonna Win. (Another obscure Sandie Shaw reference.)
2) Europe tells Dustin to Beak Wyatt.
3) No Turkey-ish delight as Dustin doesn't show Eastern (European) Promise.
4) Dustin's Daily Boos. (Reference to Dustin's show, Dustin's Daily News and the fact he gets booed everywhere.)
5) D'end of Eurovision for Dustin. (Reference to the Den)
6) Eurovision Poultry-mendous news for Dustin Dissenters. (Eurovision Poll Tremendous news etc.)
7) No Hen Party for the Irish in Belgrade. (This is where I start scraping the bottom of the barrel)
8) Dustin fails to make the (Bel)Grade. (Told you)
9) Irlande 'Boos' Points (Ouch surely I can get no lower.)
10) Dustin given free-range in Belgrade. (OK that is it… It is getting silly… Surely I have something better to do.)

I hope these amused you, but I'm assuming that no pun in ten did...

Not Dustin Off An Old Routine

In my first ever performance of comedy for ‘Adults’, I did a routine on the Eurovision song contest, including a ghastly (intentionally) version of a song I told the audience I was going to put forward for the contest… I started the routine by saying that I have lived in Ireland for five years and I love it here, but I cannot understand the nation that gave us Phil Lynott, The Dubliner’s, Van Morrison and others actually seems to give a monkey’s about the Eurovision song contest.

I gave this routine up for three reasons:

1) People might think it was a routine done out of affection (It wasn’t)
2) I made a joke about the fact that, as Terry Wogan says that the British will never win it again because they’ve bombed too many nations, why hasn’t Tony Blair used that as some kind of justification (It was met with silence, Political Satire is not my thing)
3) The routine works on the premise that my birthplace, England, doesn’t care about the Eurovision Song Contest, but after Morrisey and Justin Hawkins behaviour last year, well it’s obviously not strictly true and the routine loses all credibility.

This year, thanks to a turkey, the Eurovision has been all over the Irish news again, some reality TV show person is Britain’s entry and my act is getting on OK without a Eurovision routine, although I still say before a song, ‘This is my Eurovision entry next year, That’ll please them… An Englishman representing Ireland’

I think the moral of this is, you can’t make a joke out of a joke…