Another mention for my book.

The magazine, 'Carousel: The Guide to Children's Books' has given my collection of poetry a brief mention.

I am very pleased with what was said about it. 'Delightfully Ridiculous'

Roald Dahl Day

Tomorrow is Roald Dahl Day... A wonderful idea to celebrate one of the worlds greatest wordsmith's...

3 years ago, On Roald Dahl day 2006, I did a reading of my and Roald Dahl's verse for Children in Cork City. It was so enjoyable, and I wrote the verse below expecially for it...

Hope it is enjoyed, and you all have a great Roald Dahl Day.


Roald Dahl Day

Any fan of Roald Dahl knows
He was a wizard when it came to prose.
And, although a great story he did tell
He also wrote great verse as well.
Like ‘Revolting Rhymes’ and ‘Rhyme stew’
His stories contained great rhymes to.
The 4 naughty Golden Ticket winners all had
A rhyme that showed us why they were bad.
So many great poems he did create
So I would like to celebrate
These rhymes and I’d also like to say
Have a Scrumdiddlyumptious Roald Dahl day

Official Launch of My Poetry Collection

Press Release for Book Launch
Saturday 16th May 2009
Baldoyle Library, Fingal






Poet/Humorist/Singer-Songwriter Paul H. Tubb has recently put together a collection of his most Ridiculous Rhymes and illustrations, and decided to call it, ‘Please Do Not Encourage This Nonsense by Purchasing This Book: Poems by Paul H. Tubb’.

The Book, a delightfully funny collection that will make even the most disheartened person forget about the state of the world today, is being launched officially on 16th May 2009 at Baldoyle Libraries, Baldoyle, Fingal between the hours of 1400hrs and1500hrs.

It would mean a lot to the poet for you to attend, there will be readings from the book, Refreshments, Copies of the book there for purchasing and signing and Paul may even bring his Guitar and play a song or more.

For further information contact the poet himself @ pttheumrst@hotmail.com or by phone at 085-1407298.

Collection of Nonsense/Comic Verse Available

Hi,

A new collection of Comic/Nonsense Verse, For Children, called, ‘Please Do Not Encourage This Nonsense by Purchasing this Book: Poems By Paul H. Tubb’, is available for purchasing.

23 Poems Not about Football, 11 that are about Football and 5 limericks. Paul H. Tubb has put these together, with some illustrations, into a handy book form so that they can be read at anyone’s leisure. Funny Rhyming poems that will delight Children of all ages. Poems about subjects such as Strange Christmas’s, Tone Deaf Dentists and the worlds worst stuntman among others. To learn more, please click on the link below.

Children's Book Festival 2008 Part Four

Days 6 and 7 - County Monaghan Libraries.

Got to Dublin Busarus from Heuston which was interesting as I was trying to make the journey with Suitcases and a guitar and so were numerous Ireland Football Fans although they were sans Guitar and Cases, although I have never been on such a packed Luas. My Wife waited at the Busarus with me until I got on the bus… Unfortunately she had to go back to work on Thursday and Friday, so it was an upset and lonely poet who travelled up to Monaghan by himself, feeling Tired and already missing his wife.

I did take my CD Walkman, with numerous AC/DC CD’s for listening in preparation for their new CD that is coming in two days, I always wanted to form an AC/DC tribute band, using Acoustic instruments but keeping the Power and Rhythm of AC/DC, calling it ‘Acoustically Causing Downright Chaos’, but never got around to it. Though I have been thinking about it recently as I have been looking forward to this album’s release and I’ve been playing AC/DC riffs on my guitar in libraries during this festival, whilst waiting for the Children to arrive… When I got my walkman out, I realised I forgot to include ‘Back in Black’ although I do remember getting it ready for packing… I really should get an I-pod so that I can never forget CD’s again…

I got to the Western Arms Hotel, where I was staying, at around 2200 hrs and tiredly made my way up to my Room… I contacted my wife to let her know that I missed her and that I had arrived… and then I thought I would get to sleep, but I was wrong. This room had a television, a remote and many channels so I spent a lot of time flipping before I fell asleep.

The morning started with a lovely Breakfast as is my tradition for this festival… An employee of Monaghan Library, the Library I was reading at, then came to pick me up and we walked around to where the library where I thought I would have three readings.

I sat there for a while drinking Coffee and Playing AC/DC riffs, until the first class came in. It was a mixed group and it went very well… The Limerick section was a success and the songs went down very well. Poems were also well received and again, requests about where to purchase my poetry were made by the teacher and the pupils. My poem ‘Raining in the Library’ has seemed to go down very well with the Children and it did so again in this session.

The next session was again well received, they seemed to be a lot younger than the previous group… The Songs seem to go down really well with the younger crowd and this session was no exception.

After a Coffee Break, We then did something that was totally new for me, We drove to a school, now I have done this before obviously, what with me actually going to a school in my younger years, but I have never given a performance in a school before all my performances being in Libraries. In fact the last time I went into a school was to vote in the Lisbon Treaty where that damned democracy annoyed our elected officials again… But I was really looking forward to this visit. The School was St Patrick’s School in Clara and the Performance took place in their School Library. The decision to hold the performance in the Library was due to the fact that the school was launching MS Readathon and they wanted a literary event to mark this, but they were unable to get one so they made do with me…

The performance itself went down very well again, 51 children, all ages and the teachers were very impressed… unfortunately we were very rushed towards the end and autograph hunters were disappointed… I enquired about MS Readathon and was informed what it entailed. I then questioned if they were to stay awake for 3 days how many books can they read? I was given many numbers from 20 to 3450…

After the reading I went back to the hotel and lied down for a bit flipping the channels… I then went to the town to look for something to eat and most places were closed. I did find something eventually and then went back to my hotel room, tired and decided to Flip Channels again and this is where I stayed for the rest of the night except for going downstairs for something to eat.

The following morning after breakfast, I was driven to Castleblaney library which is where I would spend the next 6 hours performing to 3 schools.

The first group were a group of boys who the most inquisitive group I think I’ve ever had. Before the poem ‘Raining in The Library’, I inform the group that ‘the next poem is about something bad happening in the place we are in,’ all of a sudden many imaginations went into overdrive as to what it could be… The best one was regarding the Pipe’s bursting and all of us getting stranded in the Library, my poem seemed a bit a bit tame by comparison although it was well received. There was a picture of Ardal O’Hanlon on the wall as part of the READiscover adverts, and during one of my poems a young boy interrupted and said, ‘There’s the man from Father Ted.’ Now as a huge Ted fan myself, there is no way I’m competing with that so I agreed and continued my poem after everyone had seen the picture. I got many requests again to go on X-Factor or America’s Got Talent, in fact one boy told me, ‘If I don’t see you on X-Factor next year, I’m going to be upset.’

The next group were a group of girls who seemed slow to get going… The first thing I do is perform ‘The Coat-Hanger song’ and at the end I say ‘Everyone…’ With the hope to get the whole group singing ‘Yes I give my Coat-Hangers names.’ But no one sang along in the beginning until coaxed by me and their teacher. After this it got better and subsequent poems and songs were well received…

After something to eat, my last group, of this library and unfortunately the whole festival, arrived… An exceptionally great group to mark my last performance of the 2008 festival… Jokes were told limericks were written enthusiastically, Football Poems went down well and Tottenham were again mocked… Before my last song, Joe the Wriggly Rock’N’Roll Star, I told them this was my last one and they were not happy, in fact I had a request to make it last an hour…

I was then driven to the Bus-Stop and it was an exceptionally happy but extremely tired poet who boarded the bus back to Dublin. I got back to Dublin earlier then expected and was re-united with my wife at her place of work. I dropped my stuff off and then went to Grafton Street, where I purchased the new AC/DC album, I went to the Decent Cigar emporium to buy a cigar and I also bought a Cafetierre, three things I hope to enjoy this weekend…

So that is it for me again for another year… I have too say this has been my best year… I’ve enjoyed myself, the children, teachers and Librarians have also enjoyed themselves and as I write this I am so happy but sad at the same time… Happy at what has been a success and sad that it has come to an end for me… I love this festival and I look forward to it every year… The Performances I give are enjoyable and they can be chaotic, unpredictable and loud and I wouldn’t have it any other way…

Here’s looking forward to next year’s festival…

The Bod Delusion

I have realised that I have been deluding myself all these years…

Bod is a boy… I used to watch Bod religiously as a young child and I have believed since those days that Bod was a Girl…

And today, quite by accident, I found out that Bod was in fact a boy.

I think the main reason that I was under the assumption that Bod was in fact a girl, was because he wears triangle shaped attire and as a child, all female drawings by myself were attired the same way… (See Illustration)



All the years I’ve wasted believing this, I will never ever get back… So I will have to finish with a poem about another female who knows what she wants.


Please Call me Sue

The little Girl at number two
Said to me one day, “Please call me Sue.”
I replied, “Why should I do that?
After all your name is Pat.”
She said, “My parents gave me that name.
I would never have chosen the same.
I think it’s rude, I feel insulted,
That I was never ever consulted.
After all it is me who’ll have the strife
Of living with this name for the rest of my life
So I believe it would have been fair
If a decision is made that I should have been there.
The only reason as to why I wasn’t confided
Is because I was to young when the name was decided
But if they had named me temporarily
We could have changed it to what I wanted when I turned three
But now Pat is permanently my name
And my parents are to blame.
I want to be called Sue that’s what I have planned,
After the singer from my favourite Pop Band.
Besides what has it got to do with you?
If I ask you, then please call me Sue.”

Girl Power!!!

Strong willed females have actually featured quite large in my poetry for children, There was Miniature Melanie the wonderful footballer who featured a few blogs ago, then there is Pam (See Below) who knows what she wants, (Or rather what she doesn’t want) but she encounters another strong willed woman who unfortunately makes the rules and there are others as well… I think this influence comes from the strong independent woman I married…

Strong Female Characters have always existed in Children’s Literature, think of Alice and her wonderland adventures, Pippi Longstocking, Nancy drew, Roald Dahl’s Creations Matilda and Sophie (The BFG) etc…

I was thinking of this during the week when I found out that Geri Halliwell, member of the Spice Girls the band that taught girls it’s cool not to think for yourself, Has ‘written’ a collection of Children’s stories that in her word’s, ‘Passes the baton of Girl Power on.’

Oh heaven be praised, Children’s literature has been saved by a selfless individual who does not like the limelight…

I’d like to say this is said in all seriousness as Geri’s version f Girl Power is similar to mine in the way that they were both manufactured by a member of the male gender… Mine came from me and hers came from Simon Fuller and her books are rumoured to have been written by Jonny Zucker.

Girl Power hey!!! Here’s some more for you.

Pam Doesn’t Like Spam

There is a girl called Pam
Who really doesn’t like Spam.
But it’s all her mother serves
And it gets on her nerves.
She said “I’m fed up with it, I am.”

One day, to her mother, she said,
“Mum can we have something different instead?
An alternative dish
Maybe something with fish,
And maybe some chips and some bread.”

“Why?” Her mother enquired
“Don’t tell me of Spam you are tired.
It’s all I’ve ever eaten
And its taste can’t be beaten.
To eat it’s all that’s required.”

“But I don’t like it.” Pam did state.
“And I really don’t appreciate,
To me you don’t give
Any alternative,
As there is nothing but Spam on my plate.”

Pam’s mother did not agree.
She said “An alternative is not necessary.
I’ve only ever eaten Spam,
And it’s made me what I am,
So eat it if you want to grow up like me.”

“Besides” continued Pam’s mother.
“As for alternatives there are no other.
A three year supply
Of Spam I already did buy.
So for the next three years, dinner I did cover.”

So for the next three years Pam
Did eat nothing but Spam.
But she discovered by chance,
That the taste of Spam she could enhance
By adding a spoonful of Jam.

Poetry Now Festival

Had an exceptionally wonderful Poetry Now Festival, if anyone is interested, even if you aren't it was still a success. A very different experience to other festivals I've done. I was on a bill, it was in a theatre, I was required to attend a sound-check ½ an hour before my performance.

Myself and George Szirtes read to around 300 extremely well-behaved 8-11 year olds who asked questions and were exceptionally enthusiastic… Overall it was fantastic seeing so many Children into poetry and enjoying the experience… Comments were made on this subject by the many festival organisers and the whole programme, lasting weeks, was put together by Children's Author Lucinda Jacob, who did a wonderful job… My poems about football went down really well, although not the fact that I support Tottenham Hotspur...

On the first night we got there, we joined all the other poets and the various organisers, judges etc, for a wonderful pre-arranged dinner, talking with poets and thinkers, I felt quite out of place, but the food was nice. Then we attended Ruth Padel giving the keynote address regarding the importance of the tussle between thought and sound that is the heart of a poem.

My reading was the following day in the morning, and afterwards I was feeling exceptionally good, that not even certain attitudes of some panel members in the live debate, 'Who reads Poetry Anyway' could depress me. There were some unfortunate attitudes about young people not being important in the future of Poetry amongst other things…

We had our second poetic ensemble meal at the GastroPub on Friday afternoon… It was a very pleasant experience apart from the fact that Cork born poet Bernard O'Donoghue kept pinching my wife's chips…

The Festival ended for me by seeing Seamus Heaney and CD Wright read, Smoking a Cigar and chatting to various people in the bar, Sleeping, eating breakfast and then leaving the hotel and cursing the fact that we weren't staying for the Saturday and Sunday to see more readings/events.

The festival was a wonderful experience where myself and my wife met many wonderful people and was topped off with a wonderful reading to the Children…

Of course the Panel aren't the only people to be dismissive of poetry for Young people, The Irish Times, who are associated with the event, had an article on Thursday about the festival without any mention of the Children's reading. Maybe the Journalist, Fiona McCann, felt poetry for Children, especially comic/nonsense verse, was beneath her to mention… Who knows?